Friday, 31 July 2015

The most important letter I ever wrote.

Ella here - I though I would share this letter. I wrote it to my Birth Father after all attempts at a reconciliation had failed. (POSSIBLE TRIGGERS)

Jan 2011

Dear Dad

When I was young I lived in a happy, normal family. I felt safe, secure and loved by both of you.

When I reached puberty it all changed. You used to make up or exaggerate things I had done wrong and soon being stripped naked and beaten by you became part of a horrible routine of humiliation and pain. This went on for years, on until the PE teacher at school noticed how much weight I had lost.

Do you remember what happened next? The Police, social workers, me being taken to a place of safety, the gentle probing into blotted out events, solicitors, the allegations that everybody believed but could not prove. Surely Dad, you must remember!

Now I am living with people that love me. People who make me feel special. People who want the best for me, who would never hurt me. All those things I don’t think you can ever give me.

Too much has happened in our shared past that cannot be forgotten or forgiven. Too many tears, too much anger and hatred. For my sake and for the sake of my new family I want you to leave me alone. No letters, no phone calls, no visits. No nothing.

They say forever is a very long time. Perhaps some years from now we might be able to meet again but this must be initiated by me.

Your daughter


But 4 years later I have a loving husband. And I have Nicola (2). And I have Eve. But he is on the run from people who want to kneecap him.

So I guess I won after all! :)


  1. My biological father is nowhere near that level of abusive, but he's not a good Dad. A big part of moving on with my past was telling him just that. We aren't in contact now, but I'm OK with it. I took my power back from him. It feels good to not let his horribleness control me. It sounds like you did the same - good job!

  2. Thanks for sharing this and linking up to #WASO x