I love you lot!
I really don't know how I would have got though the last few weeks without the support of my closest friends. I'm still struggling to come to terms with what has happened. I 100% didn't see it coming and I'm cross that I so misjudged the situation. Not for the first time my big mouth has got me into trouble.
In my job you are paid and expected to have a happy smiling face all the time. And that isn't easy when all you feel like doing is curling up in a ball and not coming out of your flat ever again. So many things in the flat remind me of Magda. Even some of the food in the cupboard are things that she particularly liked and which I will never eat. The problem is that throwing it out is like accepting that the relationship is over and that hurts like crazy!
When you have been a pair for 2 years most of the people you know only think of you in that way. So invitations from my more fringe friends have tended to dry up when they realised that I was single again. They don't seem to want an odd or spare girl at some of their events.
I haven't been out nearly as much as I used to and there is nothing more boring than sitting in your staff flat on your own for your entire day off. I haven't given much thought to Christmas. Most of what I had planned was based on the staff rota at the hotel and when Magda would be free. Now the second of those two doesn't matter any more. One thing that hasn't changed is that I will be going to see some of you lot down in South Wales at the "gathering". Be prepared for me to be in a funny mood!
I don't know how Magda is. It isn't that I don't care because I care so much that she is happy. I just haven't spoken to her or seen her for 2 weeks. That feels like a life-time. I would have her back tomorrow if that is what she wanted. She knows that but she wants time and space to think through where she goes next. I wouldn't be too shocked if she went back to Norway as I imagine she needs some TLC as much as I do.